The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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