I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
