I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
This is not my ceiling
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
