Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
