I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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