Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
My life is pants optional.
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