ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
