my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
