butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
and you fell through a lawn chair
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
