I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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