That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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