At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Is Oprah even human
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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