If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
