We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
