So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
where does the pee come out of this thing
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
