her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
