i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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