but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
