so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
