is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
