I want to walk on stilts...naked
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Randomize
