We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
