i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
