How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
