Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
