I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
