Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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