At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
