i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
