i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
