he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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