Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
