what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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