this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
