Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
