Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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