girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
