It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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