my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
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