what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
