is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Verdict: uncircumcised.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
