This girl is more easily done than said...
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
