i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
