official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
