She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
My ass is underappreciated
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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