looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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