You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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