just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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