I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
