Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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