he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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