Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
