I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
