Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
