This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
And then my night got REAL pukey
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
