I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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