Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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