Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
