soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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